The Night My Blood Sugar Went Full Pop Rocks on Steroids (And Other Diabetes Drama) 💉

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So boom 💥, it’s 4:50 AM and I’m in bed—technically 🛏️. I’m laid out like a melted gummy bear 🧸 with my iPad dimmed 📱, blinds closed 🪟, Sour Patch Kids Watermelon sugar all over my chest like I rolled through a candy factory explosion 🍬💣.

The fan’s blasting because I’m hot as hell 🔥 (thanks, diabetes 😒), and I really should’ve gone to bed at 1 AM… but no, I was too busy vibing 🎶💃🏾 to my music like it was 2010 and the aux cord was mine.

Meanwhile, my insulin pump is acting like it’s got beef with me 🤖😤. It’s beeping like a possessed Tamagotchi 🔊—low, then high, then low again. I’m not even wearing it at this point 🙅🏾‍♀️. I took it off because:

  • It doesn’t deliver insulin when I’m low anyway ⛔💉

  • Sometimes I need a break 😤

She may be my best friend 🫶🏾, but she is not bed-friendly. Uncomfy queen 👑.

I call myself the Bionic Woman 🦾😂 because the pump is what makes me feel like a futuristic cyborg, not the diabetes itself. But still… why is diabetes like this?? How does it just decide to drop low at the weirdest times? It’s like pop rocks on steroids 🍭💥.

I can feel the shakes 🫨, but I’m not actually shaking. I can still walk 🚶🏾‍♀️ and function, but everything’s off—like a glitchy video game character 🎮🤖.

Eventually, after drinking juice 🧃 and eating enough candy to trigger a dentist’s sixth sense 🦷⚠️, my blood sugar crept up 📈. 54… then 59… then finally into the 90s 🙌🏾. I was trying to sleep “like the dead” 🧟‍♀️💤, but my pump was still bleeping and the birds were chirping 🐦 like, “Good morning, loser.” I finally passed out around 5:30-ish 🕠.

📝 Update #1:

So I tried to sleep like the dead 😴. I really did. But nope—my mom barged into my room at 9:30 AM 👀 looking for the living room remote… which had been hiding under my pillows the whole time 🛋️🔎.

I was still exhausted 🥱, so I passed back out. Woke up around 10:30/10:40 ⏰, fell back asleep again 😴, then woke up at 11 AM 🫠, but the bathroom was occupied 🚽. Fell asleep AGAIN 😵‍💫 until 11:45.

Finally got up, ate some Peanut Butter Crunch cereal 🥣, and now it’s 12:45 PM 🕧. I’m back in bed 🛏️, blinds closed again, stomach bubbling with sulfuric acid farts 💀💨 because my body is on its own chaotic schedule 🔁.

🌇 Update #2:

Made it out of bed! 😮‍💨 I’m now sitting on a bench 🪑 at Englewood Cliffs in Englewood, NJ 🌲, feeling the cool breeze 🌬️ and admiring the Manhattan skyline 🏙️. Peaceful. Beautiful. My blood sugar is behaving for now 🤞🏾. We love that ❤️.

After soaking up the breeze and vibes at Englewood Cliffs 🌬️🌲, me and the fam ended up finding a random street fair in Teaneck 🎉. It was giving surprise adventure, colorful booths, music, and that classic Jersey chaos 🎠🎈. We were excited, strolling around, thinking we were about to feast like royalty 👑🍽️…

But nah. Turns out there wasn’t much food 😒. Like, WHERE was the greasy fair food?? The funnel cake?? The suspiciously long hot dogs?? 🤨🌭

So now I’m starving.

My stomach’s over here rumbling like, “We did not survive a candy-fueled blood sugar drop just to starve at a street fair!” 💥🍬😭

So yeah… off to home 🏃🏾‍♀️💨 where real food lives and my Crocs can rest. A girly is hungry, sleepy, and slightly betrayed.

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