The Broken Bank Account Drama: My Autopay Disaster (and Other Campus Chaos)

Ever had one of those days where everything just seems to go wrong, yet somehow, it still makes the best kind of story? Yeah, that’s me today. From dodging bees and battling with the Hackensack River (I’ll explain), to Starbucks betrayal and the ultimate enemy—algebra—I’m living the full college experience. Let me break it down for you.

The Morning of False Hope: Starbucks Betrayal ☕

I walked across campus with high hopes. I mean, it was a beautiful day and the sun was shining. What could go wrong? I saw my classmate sipping on a chilled iced coffee, and instantly, my thoughts went straight to coffee heaven.

So, I made my way to the on-campus Starbucks, feeling all hopeful and prepared. Only… they don’t accept my Starbucks card. Only cash or credit—like, come on! I’ve got money on that card, but I might as well be holding a piece of plastic that just mocks me at this point. What a cruel reminder of how broke I am. So, here I am, iced coffee-less, crossing the bridge back to my side of campus, looking at the birds squabbling and trying to ignore the fact that my caffeine dreams are dashed. Oh, and did I mention my bank account is -17 dollars? Living the dream, right?

The Broken Bank Account Drama: My Autopay Disaster 💸

But wait—there’s more to the story of why I’m -17 dollars deep. You see, I’ll have money in two days, but for now I’m sitting here broke—all because I forgot to turn off autopay for one of my credit cards. The credit card company took it like a thief in the night, swiping away my funds without even a warning.

Now I’m staring at my sad, empty account, knowing I’ve got a countdown going before things are normal again. Two days might not seem like much—but when you’re hungry, caffeine-deprived, and facing a vending machine that charges like it’s a luxury boutique, it feels like forever.

The Hackensack River: Calm, Green, and Slightly Gross 🌊🦆

Crossing back over the Hackensack River, which literally separates both sides of campus, should’ve been peaceful. The water’s calm, yes—but it’s also green. Not some relaxing, nature-inspired green. No. It’s more like “this river’s been through some things” kind of green. I know it’s from the trees and dirt and all that—but still, eww.

I tried to enjoy the breeze, but nature had other plans. Bees kept getting too close, and birds were straight-up fighting in the bushes nearby like they had personal beef. I’m just trying to survive college—not get dragged into a backyard bird brawl.

The Real Struggle: Vending Machine Heist 🍟

Desperate for a snack, I turned to the vending machines. I had exactly $1.30, which should’ve been enough for a bag of chips or something simple—but nope. Not on this campus. These machines are operating like they’re inside an airport. I couldn’t afford a single thing.

So, like a defeated warrior, I caved and used my almost-maxed-out credit card to buy some chips. Just a little something to tide me over. But no way was I using it to get that iced coffee. That would’ve crossed a line. Some things you just don’t do—not even when desperate.

Algebra from Hell ➗😭🧮

But the real villain of the day? Algebra.

Yep, that class I’ve got from now until May. It’s not some cute, light review of numbers. This class is dragging its feet through the semester like a horror movie monster. It’s the final boss standing between me and summer freedom.

If I could sum it up in one equation, it would be:

(X = me, X = tired, X = over it).

Since that chaotic morning, I actually managed to finish two of my classes: Art History and Digital Illustration. Done and dusted! No more lectures, no more deadlines for those two—just peace.

Meanwhile, math and writing are still hanging around, but there’s a silver lining. My writing professor just emailed me and asked to use my essay as an example for the next class. So yeah, even in the chaos, I’m low-key winning.

Nightfall Reality: The Silent Fart and the Bus Rescue 💨🚌

Fast forward to the end of the day—because yes, it’s somehow still going. I was standing minding my business when it happened: a silent fart that traveled up my back like it had somewhere to be. Not loud, not proud, but it sure made me laugh. I was done.

After a full day of being exhausted, broke, and annoyed, I was finally heading home—thankfully saved by my mom who picked me up from the bus stop. Shoutout to her for being the real MVP. Even though she didn’t cook (she had a TV dinner instead), at least I made it back in one piece.

Dinner at 10:51 PM, Because Life is Wild Like That ⏰🍗🌽

By the time I got home, I was too exhausted to do anything—so dinner ended up happening at 10:51 PM. No fried chicken, no big feast, just a survival meal: baked-then-pan-fried chicken breast, sautéed veggies, and corn. Simple, tired, and straight to the point.

I don’t even have the energy to clean the deep fryer or make it crispy. I just needed food, and now that I’ve eaten—thank God—I can finally sit my behind down.

Final Thoughts: At Least There’s No Class Tomorrow 🙌🏾

I’m so beyond drained I can barely move. But at least there’s some light: no class tomorrow! Hallelujah!

But wait—uh oh. The proficiency exam is Thursday. Great. Just great.

So for now, I’m going to rest, ignore the world, and pretend I’m not broke, tired, or stressed about an exam. Because tonight, I ate, I survived, and I farted silently with pride.

College life: it’s a trip.

Stay strong, stay broke, and keep laughing through the madness. We got this. ✊🏾