Awkwardly Introverted

Hey there, nonexistent blog followers lol 😂. It’s one of those late-night venting sessions where my thoughts are too loud to let me sleep. If you’re reading this, welcome to the unfiltered chaos of my mind. Lately, life feels like it’s moving too slow. ⏳ I’ve got dreams—BIG ones. Like launching my business,  PrintablesbySha . 🛍️🎨 It’s a name I’ve been toying with for a while, and it finally feels right. The plan is to start with tote bags 👜 and expand to digital products, like printables and coloring books. Once that tote bag is launched, it’s a WRAP! 🎉 I’m setting up shop on  Spring  and  Gumroad —two platforms that (finally) don’t have ridiculous fees sucking the life out of my sales. 💸 Etsy and TeePublic? Yeah, I’m  done  with them. 😤 But, if I’m honest, it’s hard not to feel like I’m falling behind. Health issues have slowed me down over the years, leaving me starting this journey later than most. And while I know  37 or 38 isn’t old  ?...

  Omg it’s 12:58 am & I’m listening to that rain just pouring down ugh 😩 I got class tomorrow, I don’t want to hold an umbrella 🌂. I only love rainstorms when I’m home with nothing to do or just chilling 😂. But right now, it’s one of those nights where I’m just trying to get through it all.  The rain was so loud outside, but I drowned it out with my fan. Of course, it was a bit too warm, and if I took my shirt off, I’d get cold. Classic. Eventually, I managed to relax my whole body, preparing for the inevitable journey to sleep, where things finally make sense—like being home with my dog, my house, and well, being rich. If only. I really hope the rain stops by tomorrow morning. The last thing I want to deal with is walking in the rain with a soggy umbrella. The weather is supposed to clear up around 10, just in time for me to catch the bus. But I’m honestly praying that NJ Transit doesn’t pull one of their “we’re late” acts, as usual. The 171 is the closest bus to me, b...

Venting and grief often go hand in hand, as expressing the weight of loss can provide a sense of release from the overwhelming emotions that accompany it. Grief doesn’t just manifest in tears 😢 or sadness 😔; it can also come through frustration 😤, confusion 🤷🏾‍♀️, or moments of anger 🤬😡. When we vent, we give ourselves permission to acknowledge the pain that may feel too heavy to carry quietly. It’s a way of processing and understanding that loss, even when words can’t fully capture its depth. Venting allows us to feel heard 👂🏾, even if it’s only to ourselves or a trusted space, and serves as a necessary part of the healing journey, where we slowly begin to make sense of what’s been left behind. Grief doesn’t announce itself. It doesn’t ask for permission to invade your life. It comes in quiet waves 🌊, in moments when you least expect it—when you think you’re okay, only to be caught off guard by the sting of loss that seems to come from nowhere. It’s the kind of pain that see...

Saturday night, and I was ready for a relaxing bath after a busy week. The plan? An oatmeal Epsom soak, some peaceful reading, and just unwinding. I had everything set: my book, my iPad, my bath filled with warm water… or so I thought. But no—the hot water completely bailed on me. I waited patiently, reading my book, hoping for the water to warm up. Despite running it for a while, the comforting warmth I craved never came. To top it off, I got into the bath anyway, but it was freezing! So much for my long, peaceful soak. My 20-minute timer went off, and I was left sitting in cold water, wishing for just a little bit of comfort. Talk about a huge letdown. 😩❄️ I was all set to do my usual routine afterward: changing my expired insulin pump and Dexcom sensor. But nope, that didn’t happen. Instead, I wrapped up my bath early and decided to switch gears. I reattached my sensors, grabbed some chips and lemonade 🍟🍋, and settled in to watch  Ancient Aliens  on TV. (Honestly, my nig...

You ever have one of those days where everything feels like it’s dragging you down? Well, welcome to my world today. It’s dark 🌧️, it’s gloomy 🌫️, it’s rainy ☔, and to top it all off, it’s freezing 🥶. I’m talking “brain fried, fingers numb, can barely focus” kind of cold. All I want right now is to crawl into bed 🛏️, wrap myself in warmth, and get lost in a good book 📚. But no, I’m stuck here in class, feeling every minute stretch into an hour 🕰️. Math 🧮 class is already kicking my ass. Letters instead of numbers? 🔢➡️🔤 Are you serious? Who thought that was a good idea? I’ve got another test coming up, and honestly, I’m so lost right now that I don’t even know where to start 🤯. And the students here? Quiet as mice 🐭 until I get an answer wrong. Then, suddenly, everyone wants to chime in with the right one. Like, what? Where was all that confidence when the question was first asked? 😒 I’ve still got lunch to get through, but I know exactly what I need—an egg roll 🥢 and pork ...

 The Freeze Has Arrived… At 2:02 AM ❄️😭 It’s official — the cold has really arrived. At 2:02 AM, I could feel it in my bones. The freeze is here in Jersey, and I am not ready for this. 😫 I had no choice but to surrender to the cold, wrapping myself up in my fuzzy pajamas 🥶. Don’t get me wrong, I love a cozy night in as much as anyone, but it’s just not the same without the sunshine beaming down. ☀️ I’m already missing those hot summer afternoons, the long days, and the smell of sunscreen in the air. 🌊🕶️ Now it’s just… cold. ❄️ The worst part? It’s only September! 😫 Hot cocoa and cozy nights are cute, sure, but I’d trade them in a heartbeat for some sunshine and warmth. ☀️ Please, summer, come back soon — we need you more than ever. 🙏🏾

Ugh, I’m still itchy after that bath. Why do bug bites itch so much? 😭 After my bath, my mom, who was conveniently still up, suggested I try Benadryl. So I did, and while I'm still itchy, the medicine is starting to work fast. But let me tell you, it’s super late (ehmmm *2:37 am*), and I’m getting drowsy 😴. I’ve been trying to upload stuff on both websites, but it looks like I won’t make it tonight. And to top it off, I'm yet again disappointed in these so-called horror or scary stories on YouTube 😔. If I don’t return or continue posting, it’s because this Benadryl knocked me out. Damn, it makes me so drowsy so quickly.  Here’s hoping the itchiness goes away soon, and I can finally get a good night’s rest.