The Creative Chaos of an Introvert

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Today was one of those rare, calm days. Just one class for an hour—a blissful breather amidst the rush of midterms. 📚✨ The rest of the day was a blank canvas, with time stretching out for me to fill with both my art project 🎨 and the looming weight of midterm study. 😩

I’ve been working on my book cover design for art class in Adobe Illustrator. 🖌️ Even though I’ve used it over the last few years, I haven’t mastered it yet. It's not easy, though. As an overthinker, I find myself caught up in every small detail, often feeling like I'm taking two steps forward and one step back. 🔄 Adobe Illustrator is a powerful tool, but every misstep makes me question if I'm doing it "right." 😅 The AI beta generator on Adobe, well, let’s just say it feels more like a wild card 🎲—getting a useful output from it feels like a gamble.

The learning process is slow, but I’m embracing it. 🤷🏾‍♀️ In the end, I just turn to trusty Google whenever I hit a wall. I guess that’s why, no matter how advanced AI becomes, humans are still needed to fill in the gaps, untangle the confusion, and make sense of things that just don’t seem to connect. 🤖🤓

Meanwhile, my focus slipped into the uncanny void, as it tends to do when I’m engrossed in an art piece. I was supposed to be cooking too—just something as simple as pork chops. 🍳 It’s funny how when I’m lost in the colors, shapes, and lines, the real world fades. 🌌 And then, inevitably, I’m pulled back by the smell of burnt pork chops, reminding me that, yes, I’m still here, in the real world, where things burn if you forget about them. 🔥😩

As I sip apple cider from my Starbucks thermal cup I bought last year, 🍏☕ I try to balance myself and enjoy these small moments.  My mind is scattered as I prepare for my upcoming trip to Greece 🇬🇷—an exciting but daunting prospect. Traveling is an adventure, ✈️ but for an introvert, it’s also an emotional marathon. 🏃🏽‍♀️💭 I’m excited, but I know I need to balance that with time to mentally regroup. 🧘🏾‍♀️

Looking at my screen now, with my designs sitting there—some finished, some still in progress—I feel a mix of pride and frustration. The cityscapes, 🏙️ the silhouettes, 🕴🏾 the noir-inspired covers—they’re starting to feel like a part of me, reflections of how my imagination tries to mold something concrete from the chaotic colors and ideas in my head. 🎨💡

Maybe, in the end, the creative process is just like life—sometimes it burns, sometimes it gets tangled, but every mistake teaches something. 🔥✍🏾 And every project—complete or not—reflects a moment, a day, an experience worth having. 💭✨

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