The Fake Thug Life of an Awkward Black Girl 🤣

 

I’m Just in Bed… Not About That Life 😂

So boom—I’m in bed. Warm, cozy, thriving in my introverted peace. I’m minding my business, probably scrolling through my phone, avoiding social interactions like a pro. And yet, here I am, staring at this hardcore “Thug Life” image like I’m out here in these streets, really built for this life. 💀😂

Let’s be real—I am not about that life. I don’t fight, I don’t argue, and if someone raises their voice at me, I’m already planning my quiet escape. Someone steps on my shoe? Fine, I’ll take the L and move on. Someone cuts me in line? I’ll be upset internally, but I won’t say a word. Why risk unnecessary drama when I can just go home and chill?

But that picture? That vibe? It spoke to me. It looked cool. 😎 And honestly, that’s all that matters.

My Bitmoji is a Fraud

That little "Thug Life" image? Lies. Deception. It makes it look like I’m out here running things when, in reality, I’m debating whether to get up for a snack or just stay cozy. Thug life? Nah. Lazy life? Absolutely.

I’m not made for the streets—I’m made for soft blankets, binge-watching shows, and avoiding all forms of confrontation.

Reasons I Could Never Be About That Life:

❌ Ignoring texts—not for mystery… but because I don’t feel like responding.
❌ Wearing a hoodie and headphones—not for intimidation… but because I don’t want anyone talking to me.
❌ Looking unapproachable—but really just too socially awkward to start a conversation.
❌ Overthinking my grocery list like it’s a military operation.

Ain’t No Way I’m Built for the Streets

Let’s be honest—if I had to be about that life, I’d be the first one to crack under pressure. Someone raises their voice? I’m apologizing first. A serious confrontation? Suddenly, I’m super interested in the floor tiles.

If something sketchy happens? I’m speed-walking away with my head down, acting like I didn’t see a thing. My life motto? "Mind your business and stay out of the way."

The Real Thug Life? Avoiding People

Honestly, the toughest thing I do every day is:

• Dodging small talk in public 😭
• Trying not to make eye contact with the cashier
• Pretending I didn’t hear someone call my name in a crowd
• Casually crossing the street when I spot someone I know

So yeah, here I am, just in bed. Not in the streets, not making moves, just vibing. Fake thug in the profile pic, but a real-life introvert under the blankets. 😂

The Fake Thug Life Struggles

Let’s talk about my so-called thug life reality:

• Mean mugging in the mirror… then cracking up because I look ridiculous.
• Saying, “I wish somebody WOULD,” but secretly hoping nobody does because I’m not about that smoke.
• Blasting rap music, then quickly turning it down at red lights so I’m not judged.
• Pretending to be unbothered, but actually overthinking that one awkward moment from three years ago. 😭

Honestly? Fake thug life is the best thug life. No danger, no stress—just me, my bed, my snacks, and my imaginary street cred. Because, at the end of the day, the only thing I’m really running is low on battery and patience for social interactions.

So yeah, I may not be about that life, but in my head? I’m legendary. 😂✌🏾